4.5.3 Dowry entitlement and domestic violence
Participants to the interviews revealed that dowry
entitlement is one of the factors that involve South Kivu men in domestic
abuse. Below are displayed the views of Comanda and Dira, respectively:
Since I gave my cows, this means that I married her and
it is not her who married me. So I am right to correct her because I paid the
dowry; she depends on me and she can't decide in my home as she likes.
Comanda has said everything. The dowry I pay is what
gives me power over my wife.It is like the woman's family sold me their
daughter. Yes, I buy her because I paid something.
Discussion
Dowry gives man power over the women he married because Dira
says ` I gave my cows...I am right to correct her'. In the literature review,
the DRC Ministry of Gender and Family (2006) states that there is the tradition
of bride price among the different tribes of the country and they give it
different names. In South Kivu for instance, the Shi tribe calls it Ngulo.
Literally, this means cost or price (of the woman) that a man pays to the
woman's family in order to have her in legal marriage. However, in this region,
there are a lot of men who have wives for whom they have never given any dowry.
For the latter case, the tradition stipulates that when a man dies before he
has paid the dowry; his children are obliged to pay for it to their mothers'
family (Mirindi, 2003:70). Bride cost makes South Kivu men believe women have
no right as it entitles women to being considered as properties of their
husbands, which makes some men abuse them. The fact that men pay the dowry
means that they are entitled to have power to make decisions in the home and
anyone who may oppose this must suffer the consequences.
In this context, every man does his best to pay the dowry for
his wife because he knows that this shows his power. It is the boy's family
that pays it for him to the bride's family. We find this remark by Mirindi
(2003:53) as he notes that `in South Kivu, it is the man who pays the dowry, in
animals, materials or in cash, which makes the woman become always dependent on
the man'. When Comanda says he paid something, this means that by giving the
dowry price, the husband has purchased the wife. Actually, this gives the wife
little or no value towards the husband. It builds arrogance and violence in the
man's mind and so it makes the wife to become the prime victim of his violence.
The practice of the bride-price has become an acute issue in the DRC and in
South Kivu in particular because the average bride cost has risen (Linda,
2009). Such changes have made the dowry have an ugly face that is generating
negative effects for women including their own survival. Hatari (1999:81)
reveals that data from South Kivu province directly link bride cost to domestic
violence. He adds that some husbands have assaulted their wives calling them
daughters of a `dog' and others have sent their children to their grandparents
to feed them, just because they gave them many cows for bride price.
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