This section presents the socio-demographic characteristics
of the sample of this research. All the men who involved in the talks; ie focus
group discussions and interviews were from South Kivu and they were
representative for all the different tribes and religions that exist in the
province. The majority of them originated from the Shi ethnic group which is
the largest of all. The remaining participants belonged to other different
tribes that exist in the province. Seven men were selected to participate in
the focus group interviews in each of the two teams that were formed but some
of them were absent the day of the interviews. Later on, three of those who
attended were selected from each group to participate to the in-depth
interviews. The youngest interviewee was 26 and the oldest was 69 years old.
These interviewees had different marital, educational and social statuses; one
of them was a local leader. Those who had divorced or widowed blamed domestic
violence and some of these participants avowed to have applied violence in
their homes for a reason or another.
4.3 Key determinants of males' beliefs and
attitudes.
There exist various factors that cause men apply violence in
their families but for South Kivu men, the participants pointed out the
following reasons: society, masculinity and assertion of power.
4. 3.1 Society
South Kivu men who participated to the interviews revealed
that society greatly fosters domestic violence. They advanced that impunity,
making domestic violence a culture, accepting and tolerating domestic violence,
gender roles and unfair power distribution between men and women and patriarchy
are the main ways society uses to foster men's domestic violence in the area.
Below are the participants' opinions by category:
Views on social impunity of abusers
Dira: South Kivu never punishes violence in the home. I
think if some men behave so, it is because of the justice here and no one cares
about it. For instance, no child or woman can be listened to if they take their
father or husband to justice for abuse.
Tongo: All of you here are part of this society and you
are not obliged to abuse your
wives even if you know nobody will punish you.
I think this is an individual issue
because if we all here can decide not to
abuse women, society will not pursue us and
so we can change it. On the contrary, society will follow
people's way and so you can make society abolish violence on women.
Views on culture of domestic violence
Bitu: uh uh uh, once a family member has disturbed you,
you must show her how angry you are; this is our culture. Traditions allow that
a man can whip his wife because certainly she will go around mouthing about you
badly and you will be ridiculed. The culture here states that man's rules must
prevail and apply to women because they are like children, they get what they
cause and they are informed of this.
Dira: Traditionally, many women have been abused in a way
or another and so they are not ignorant of what goes on in households. In case
you slap her, she won't say anything about you but if you don't she will say
she is your medicine. Such bad boasting about you will make you angry again and
then you seriously react (beat her). But if she runs, you let her go and wait
for the next turn. But me, no matter, if she runs I will trap her and catch her
and then I will show her what I am made of.
Comanda: It is right that she may run but as a man, I will
do all my best to get her until she feels who I am. Hey, this is simply our
culture. It's the culture of this land, since our ancestors.
Dondo: To me, I can't let her without touching on her. She
provoked me, so she must get it right. This is the way of life here. She did
it; she must feel me, I am the man. Women have been living that since the
creation of Adam and Eve.
Views on acceptability and tolerability of domestic
violence.
Dira: Society knows and understands the context in which man
can beat the wife; if she refuses to do what I tell her or if she keeps nagging
me.
Bitu: Society has set some contexts in which we have the
right to correct women like when she hits or throws something at the man or
responds to you arrogantly.
Joco: Men here cannot tolerate a woman having sex with
another man and refuses to have sex with the husband or she turns the children
against the man.
Fikiri: My brothers have said the necessary but we all
know that no man can understand or stand the woman who humiliates him in front
of his friends or relatives, like refusing him food or any order. The society
is aware of everything; people say `makambo ya mobali na mwasi, kokota te!' (
never mingle with issues regarding a wife with her husband).
Tongo: Violence will break that harmony and beating
family members or the wife, I frankly fear to hurt them physically, morally or
spiritually. I must forgive and tolerate. Tell me, you beat your wife and at
night you feel cold, she will not... [people hum in the hall], you see! But
besides, a woman is also a human being just like you and me [continuous murmurs
in the hall].
Golo: You guys, I cannot understand you people here. How
can you behave this way toward the mother of your children? She is your wife,
ok? Are words not enough to change family members? I think all this is to
destroy the home and not to redress as you say.
Views on gender roles and unfair power
Joco: In a house of a man, a woman cannot inherit. This
means that the power of men is strong and high .What will happen when the
family is attacked? She has no force to affront the invader. No, women are made
for the kitchen.
Dira: In my village, I have never seen a woman or a girl
taking the name of the man who has died. If no girl, that man died like a dog,
then his brothers are there to control everything.
Fikiri: A man needs authority because it helps him
achieve his `goal'. Man uses his social and physical power willingly or
unwillingly. This is why we decide not to send girls to school because it is
loss of time and money. I would rather send a boy than a girl because the boy
is helpful to my family. The girl will leave us and join her husband; you see
that there is no interest to spend much on her.
Dondo: The girl will be married; she will leave me and
goes to make her own family; How can she come from there to inherit in my
compound? This is not our culture, in Europe, yes, but not here . Women know
what they must do and we, men have our duties. And, you see, women and girls
here are not allowed to eat some food. You come from this area, who is that
girl or woman sharing chicken and milk with her father or husband?
Views on patriarchal society
Dira: This is not a matriarchal society. Here, man is the
head of the family, not the wife. Up to man to put order in the home and not
the woman or the children. Man is the head of the family and God knows that.
You remember what happened to Lucifer with God in heaven! Yes, this is not a
matriarchal system.
Bitu: I agree. When you are the head, you must express
your authority every time and you continue in the same way. In a patriarchal
society like here, men are stronger than women. This is our culture here; it is
from God that men `rule' families and not women.
Comanda: Sure, even our children should know that the
father is the father. Society stipulates that in patriarchal society man is the
supreme authority in the family, clan and tribe.
Discussion
The outcomes of this research revealed that society is an
important factor that makes South Kivu men nurture violent beliefs and
attitudes towards domestic violence. In focus group interviews, the
interviewees confirmed that the influence of society on individuals is strong
and no one can avoid it. In this way, it is society that dictates the social
and customary rules that must guide people by favouring the abusers.
In the same focus group discussion, Dira confirmed that
society encourages domestic violence through different ways and one of them is
social impunity. This is supported by Amnesty International (2006) as they
state that men often resort to domestic violence because the abusers who commit
it are not sanctioned, not even taken to justice. In this way, South Kivu women
who suffer domestic violence are reluctant to take their husbands to justice as
society considers it as illogical and discreditable. Despite this, Yavana
(2008) asserts that the few wives who attempted to report the abuse to local
justice officials found their cases null because of the police and justice's
partiality. This epitomizes the Congolese institutional unfairness to address
household abuse. To Amnesty International (2006), such a situation propels
domestic abuse countrywide as `they never treat household violence as a crime
but as a home dispute' and besides, the `court does not punish exemplarily home
abusers'. Due to this, Bahige (1994:329) confirms that domestic violence will
always spread as long as the society together with the political system in
place cannot defend the victims' rights. Society's failure to address domestic
violence discourages the victims although this is a good motivation for the
abusers, which make them blame the same society.
Conversely, Tongo opposes Dira's position in an in depth
interview; for him, it is not society that makes people manifest violence in
the home but rather individuals themselves because the latter want to abuse
family members. He adds that since people are components of society, if they
refuse to abuse their family members, these men will have changed the
society and not the society to change them. He believes man
conceived society and all the rules that govern it; therefore, men can also
change them if they wish.
In addition, the discourses of the participants above
regarding men's domestic violence confirm that society is for violence in homes
as it is a social culture. Mayer (2000:71) considers culture as a vehicle
within which domestic violence occurs. For him, it is a set of specific and
enduring social customs, traditions, values and behavioural patterns that are
widespread and normal to a given group of persons who live in an area. These
cultural factors impact the abuser's behaviour, which explains his use of
violence in the home. In the view of Bitu, culture says that man's rules must
prevail and apply in the home. This entails that society has taught men the way
they behave abusively in their homes toward women. In this context, Parker and
Tritter (2006:23) say that such social culture, though destructive, recognizes
men's domestic violent behaviours and beliefs culturally and socially. In one
word, society has arranged customs and traditions and even bodies that dictate
men how to consider women.
In an in-depth discussion, Dondo states that a woman and any
other family member cannot oppose him because he must do his best until the
woman `feels' who he is. This is culturally supported by men in South Kivu.
Rose-Innes (2006:3) and Bulonza (2006:32) corroborate that the customs of some
African societies are behind men's view of domestic violence as normal and part
of family daily routine. In this view, men who are violent in their homes,
particularly towards women, are trying to confirm to the victims that they are
reacting to the norms and the customs of society. Accordingly, Hatari (1999:85)
confirms that 42% of women are domestically abused in the DRC in different
forms by their husbands. This is the microcosm that, culturally, women always
suffer men's violence even if man has failed to control his violent behaviours
when he has been provoked. Summy (1995:10) ascertains that the culture of
domestic violence builds on the `values that encourage the conviction that
women cannot oppose men's domestic violence because of their obedience towards
men in society'. This concludes that both domestic violence and coercion always
walk abreast and traditions encourage men to be their initiators.
In other words, the positions of Bitu and Dondo openly boost
of the fact that the culture in South Kivu allows men to abuse family members
while women are not allowed. This actually means that there exist
pre-established cultural norms that society has instilled into men's minds, for
example, male violence is instinctive, natural and uncontrollable. For the
woman, the same society stipulates that she should be submissive to men's
beliefs, no matter harmful or not they are. Therefore, Finkelhor (1998:78)
underscores that men often believe that their violent beliefs are consistent
with their culturally established privileges.
The majority of the respondents in focus group discussions
confirmed that social tolerability and acceptance of men's domestic violence
encourage abusers to abuse family members. They also confirmed that domestic
violence in all its forms is not viewed as a social threat. Indeed, this means
that family abuse is not considered as a socially abhorrent act; that is why it
does not boost social controversies. Actually, in South Kivu, everyone is aware
of domestic violence but they cannot mingle with it as it must not be combated
(Ruhamya, 2007). This explains the reasons why Bitu and Fikiri use the pronoun
`we `and `our'.
The South Kivu social environment should move from
considering domestic violence as a man's right that is socially understandable
to a more accepting, emphatic perspective that sees it as a social evil that
must be stopped. Participants admitted that men are socially excused if they
beat the wife in order to put her right. This means that South Kivu men have
the social go-ahead to abuse family members and the wife in any circumstances
even if the woman threatens to quit the abusive home. Zihindula (2009:73)
admits that men's violence towards family members is more condoned particularly
toward females than women's abuse towards males. Most of the interviewees to
this dissertation believed that men have the full right to hit the wife in case
she beats him or shows him insubordination.
However, this belief was opposed by some of the participants
in focus group discussions. Through Golo and Tongo's statements, we find that
some men oppose the rationalization of domestic violence. In this view, Hatari
(1999:63) notes that the fact that society excuses the men who perpetrate
violence in their homes but blames the victims highlights how unfair it is. In
the mind of Tongo, domestic abuse is a social evil to prevent because of its
awfulness.
Though a local leader, he believes that if a woman can be
abused and feels the weight of harm, man should also accept abuse from woman
and not make it a taboo or something horrible because both man and woman are
human beings with feelings. To Finkelhor (1998:78), this implies that society
should give the same rights to each of its members by shunning partiality that
mostly favours men over women.
During the focus group discussions, the participants said
that social disparity of gender roles furthers men's domestic violence. By
saying that `women must stay in the kitchen' and `women know what they must do
and we, men have our duties; women and girls here are not allowed to eat some
food, who is that girl or woman sharing chicken and milk with her father or
husband?', respectively Joco and Dondo highlight that society creates gender
difference and roles in the home. This shows that traditional society has
conceived activities and functions based on gender. In the same vein, Meel
(2005:57) finds that gender difference builds around food as, in some African
societies, there exist food for men, food for women and girls and food for
children. For instance, based on some cultural taboos, COFAPRI (2010) discusses
how DRC women and girls are not allowed to eat food like chicken, eggs, etc
because they are typically reserved for mature men. Similarly, gender roles do
not allow women to do some activities because they are weak to such jobs
correctly or simply because it would be outrageous. This is why Joco and Dondo
confirmed that South Kivu society considers as disgraceful and taboo (and so
sanctions follow, like beating or cultural cleansing) if girls or women climb
trees, climb or build a house, whistle, sing while cooking, sit on a mortar,
sit legs crossed, sit with their father, beat a man until blood sheds, refuse
sex to husband, etc. As a result, Vuningoma (2003:45) says that not respecting
one of these social prescriptions gives right to man to apply violence and
sometimes for married women, they can be repudiated and family reintegration
will be conditioned by paying a fine to the village elders to mean `I will
never repeat that'. Man, and not woman, is totally excusable if he abuses a
family member due to breaking social norms and traditions as he is their
protector (UNIFEM, 2007). Conversely, on his side, man is not affected by these
norms, although he must observe very few of them like to sleep behind his wife
in bed, eat in a pot (pan) or cook, etc.
Because of gender difference, girls do not have equal rights
to accede to education like boys. The latter are given more chance compared to
girls for the assumption that girls do not perform as well as boys at school.
To Vuningoma (2003:88), girls are discriminated because once they are married;
they will not be helpful for their own parents, thus, no reason to spend money
on their education. Paluku (1998:95) opposes categorically such favouritism,
which is another form of domestic abuse, because educating a girl is not a loss
as some men may think, it is rather beneficial to the society because if you
educate a girl, you have educated the whole nation. Besides, , in an in-depth
discussion group, Fikiri and Dondo confirm that boys should go to study and
girls stay home to carry out housework because they are meant to be wives in
the future.
Power was another issue the interviewees believed cause
violence in South Kivu homes. Chetkow-Yanoov (2000:98) and Mayer (2000:50)
consider power as one of the triggers and currencies of any violence, including
domestic abuse. Fikiri stated that no matter how, willingly or not, he
exercises his power provided he achieves his target. This is what
Chetkow-Yanoov (1997:33) calls `man's authority and ability to act and to get
something happen'. This makes us better understand that domestic violence
reflects power as the abuser's physical or social aptitude to hinder the
victim's rights or subdue her. When an individual's power dominates another,
this is power imbalance. In fact, the difference between the social and
physical power of a woman and that of a man is unfair though it is from birth.
Joco affirmed this: `our power (ie men's) is different from that of women, ours
is high because we are men.' In other words, in a domestic violence context,
there is an asymmetrical distribution of power between men and women because
society gives more of it to men. This infers that this imbalanced distribution
makes women suffer its negative consequences. As a striking example, Joco and
Dira believe girls are not allowed to inherit their father's property once he
dies. Even if he had only girl children, these girls cannot take over their
father's property. In this case, the brother of the deceased man will inherit
his brother's property. Bahige (1994:43) confirms that in some communities of
the DRC, this brother is customarily even allowed to inherit the widow of his
brother. The same writer says this helps the brother to fully take in charge
the brother's orphans.
And finally the respondents, in both focus group and in-depth
discussions, argued that South Kivu is a patriarchal society, where man has
word and authority over everyone in the home. Dira asserts
that, in a patriarchal society, man is the one who leads the family and not the
woman or children. This is a strong patriarchal belief that depicts men as
being the only ones who can manage the family and therefore apply correction
(violence) in the home. Based on this statement, we find that men are
encouraged not to seek peaceful means to handle their families because they
consider family members as inferior and weak individuals, which triggers them
to use violence simply because they are men. Similarly, Zillmann (1996:52)
supports the belief of patriarchy as he corroborates that in men's thinking,
women and girls are indisputably second class people in the home. During focus
group discussions and in-depth interviews, we could hear men commenting in
these words: `people who drag behind men', `naturally, a woman depends on man'
or `that is the way God made it', `a woman can't rule here'. In the context of
South Kivu, Hatari (1999:49) confirms that patriarchy is that form of
organisation that society has set up to make man become the supreme authority
at the levels of the home, the family, the clan and the tribe. Furthermore,
this system requires that descent is reckoned in the male line with the
children belonging to the father's lineage, which means his clan or tribe. This
form of organisation requires that violence or the hidden threat of violence in
order to maintain itself for ages throughout the society.
Normally, hierarchical difference in the home was another
issue that favoured men in South Kivu. This social belief was noted in an
in-depth contact, for instance when Bitu stated that a patriarchal society must
be ruled by man and not woman. In fact, this depicted the unconditional aspect
of family life in which he grew up until he became mature. In this line, Paluku
(1998:76) confirms that power relations and gender dominance in families still
give it all to the men, which characterises the approach to domestic violence
in the homes. In other words, women will remain passive in order to preserve
obedience and respect to the husband. As a result, Kitzinger (1994:144) argues
that the men who abuse family members develop the ideas of male sexuality in
the home. Thus hierarchy becomes portrayed in comparison with domestic violence
and strengthened thanks to the culture of the entrenched notion of `heshima kwa
bwana' meaning respect to the master (husband).
The DRC, and South Kivu in particular, is a society that is
powerfully patriarchal as it is dominated by men, which means that most women
are never given enough power and authority in the family, hence in society.
This is what makes women be victims of men's control and abuse as this is
reinforced by the patriarchal environment. Vuningoma (2003:31) maintains that
women have been largely socialised to consider the delicate forms of control
and violence in the homes as such. Still in the same context, Boonzaier
(2008:192) also accentuates men believe violence towards women is an expansion
of male authority in the personal sphere of a patriarchal society.
In fact, based on the feminist belief, Parker and Tritter
(2006:42) reason that domestic violence is a fundamental factor of a
patriarchal plan. This conveys that due to patriarchal system, men become
empowered to control and subordinate easily women in particular and family
members in general. If men were taught the errors of patriarchy, they could be
kept from abusing family members and renounce to it.
